How to Help the 4 Month Sleep Regression?

I just got off a call with a mom, and she was really distraught. Her baby had been sleeping so well, and then suddenly, out of the blue, started waking every one to two hours all night, feeding all the time and extra fussy. 

She felt like she had a newborn again. She was desperate to know what was wrong and what she could do. 

Of course, I asked her more questions and found out the age of her baby. I wasn’t surprised to hear that her baby had just turned four months old. 

This is a real thing. When babies are 20 weeks old, a shift happens. It can be a little younger or a little older, depending on the baby. This is often referred to as a four month sleep regression, but it’s actually way more than that.

At this age, your baby is growing so much, not just physically, but neurologically. 

Your baby’s brain at this age is exploding with growth. 

It’s incredible how much your baby changes. 

Compare a baby at 3 months old to a baby in the growth spurt in the fourth month and it’s a different baby. 

There are so many things that are different about the way your baby perceives the world and their awareness. And that growth is just going to continue in the fourth and fifth months. There is so much happening for your baby during these months. 

So if your baby just entered this stage and you feel like, “What in the world just happened!? I just caught by breath and now this?!” 

I want to encourage you that there are things you can do and not worry. This isn’t going to last. Here are my top three tips for you when your baby’s going through this growth spurt.

1. Remember that this stage is going to pass. I know you’re thinking, “Yes, yes, right, Anna. That’s really great. I appreciate you telling me that, but I need help now.” So here is the straight truth – this intense period of growth and resulting disruption will typically last anywhere from one to four weeks.  And then your baby will start settling down and regulating again. In the meantime, it’s really important to give your baby the love and care that he or she needs so that they feel safe and loved and they know they can trust you. So hang in there….and this leads me to #2. 

2. Do whatever it takes right now to get the best sleep possible for both of you. You are not going to establish horrible routines that are never going to be able to be undone. This is just a little faze. And doing what works to get through it is so worth it for your mental sanity. And let’s face it… You being strong and sane as a mom is really important. Let me assure you that your baby is going to undergo so many changes in the next month that it’s not going to be a problem to have to work on sleep later.

Really, what you need to know is that your baby’s changing and growing, and so even if your baby was sleeping great at three months old, your baby at 4 & 5 months old is going to be totally aware of new things. And so what did work before for sleep, probably isn’t going to work as well now. So it’s okay during this typically 1-2 week transition to do what works for sleep. It’s totally fine. You’re not going to ruin your baby for the rest of your life, period.

3. Feed your baby more often, hold them, cuddle them, give lots of care and attention. This is really helpful for your baby when they’re growing a lot as their system is dysregulated. 

You know how you feel when your system’s, dysregulated don’t you? and how important it is when somebody shows you love and care or you get that cup or coffee or a few moments of quiet. And just imagine if you were only four months out of the womb and your body is growing like crazy, your brain is exploding with growth, you really need your parents to be there for you – to give you care, food, love, patience, kindness. It’s going to go a long way and it’s going to help your baby transition out of this huge time of growth with peace. 

I hope this helps you to know if your baby is at this spot or going to be soon, that you know that this is completely normal for everything to feel a bit disrupted, and you have some tools in your toolbox to help you through it. 

Once you’re through this period, you really can start to do gentle sleep shaping in the fifth month. And then I highly recommend if you haven’t already, and your baby is healthy and well, to start sleep coaching when your baby is six months old. It’s a really great time for most babies to learn how to self-soothe, and they are going to be able to learn these skills in a whole different way than if they were four months old.

If you want a gentle step by step plan for how to teach your baby to soothe to sleep you’ll love my Online Sleep Class! 

With lots of love, 

Anna